Growing up in the 80’s I had an affinity for sitcoms. I was a big fan of shows like Cheers, Family Ties, and Growing Pains. Another one that made me laugh was Who’s the Boss? I can still hear Tony’s voice calling out “Mona! Angela!” when things were going sideways in the house. The shows made my family laugh and brought us together around the television set. Some of individual shows also had life lessons they touched on and tried to bring light to circumstances that we deal with on a daily basis.

When someone asks you about being a boss what does that mean to you? What is a boss’s job? Is it someone who is in charge? Are they in control? Do those two terms mean anything different to you? If not, they should. There is a big difference between being in charge and being in control and it begins with leadership. Here are 4 things that make a great boss at home and in the workplace.

1. They lead by example

Anyone can sit at a desk, in a dugout, or on a sideline and tell someone how to do something. However, not all of us learn that way. Great leaders teach through personal example. They get out and physically show people how to do it. This might be an example of how to land a sale, field a ground ball, or catch a pass. It’s not just about showing it physically, but also through the process of how to get there. Many of us learn through action and one of the best ways for you to teach someone is to walk it out for them. Put someone through the steps and coach them on how you want it to be done. They will appreciate the extra effort and know that you care about their individual success.

“In everything, show yourself to be an example by doing good works. In your teaching show integrity, dignity,”– Titus 2:7 BSB

2. They show grace

Failing sucks and none of us like to lose. I’m a coach who doesn’t talk about winning, but you can bet your tuckus that if there are 100 games on the schedule, I am trying to go 100-0. Over the course of a season, I am going to mess up at some point, so when my players do I need to remember how hard the game was when I played. Instead of blowing someone up when they make a mistake put yourself in their shoes and have a simple conversation with them. Ask them a question about what happened before you talk about what you saw. There is a chance they will share everything that needs to be said anyway and you don’t need to even correct them. By the way did I just use the word “tuckus” in a sentence? Yeah, I did. That’s the kinda stuff you resort to when you stop swearing.

3. They hold people accountable

Rules and guidelines are set in the workplace and at home for a reason. They maintain a sense of order and let people know what the expectations are. When expectations are not met, people need to be held accountable for their actions regardless of their status on the team or in the company. This doesn’t mean that punishment is levied every time someone falls short. It does mean that a conversation takes place, everyone knows where you stand on the subject, and that future action may happen. When you hold those around you accountable for what they do, respect is earned on both sides, especially when it’s done with other leaders under your watch.

“Responsibility equals accountability, accountability equals ownership.”– Pat Summitt

4. They know the difference between being in charge and being in control

These terms may sound similar, but I believe are very different. I think it comes down to relationships. Someone who is in charge realizes their level of responsibility and the weight that comes with. They alleviate that weight by raising up other leaders in their organization through developing them. They spend time and teach people how to do things. This creates buy-in and when an employee or player buys in to the vision, production increases.

Someone who is in control also feels that weight, but they micromanage those around them. They tend to dump tasks on people and tell them to get it done. They lean more towards delegating without any formal training and then complain when the outcome is not what they want. They spend more time telling people what to do and less time teaching them how to do it. This builds resentment and sometimes fear. That is a great way to watch your production plummet.

One thing I know for certain is this. I may be in charge of a situation, but I am never in control. God is. I am just trying to be a good steward of what he has blessed me with and I try to teach all those under me with great respect because we are all made in God’s image and therefore are His children. When you get to that level of maturity and you are focused on just pleasing God, the pressure goes away and you can rest knowing you are doing your very best to honor Him with what you do every day. 

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*The cover photo for this blog is courtesy of Mike Trask