Last Friday I took my two sons to Payson, AZ for a “guys day”. I had the day off from work and the boys were on spring break. We left Mom at home and took the 90 minute trip up the Bee Line Highway to go find some places to hike. We love spending time together in the woods. It’s quiet and we get away from the busyness of our everyday lives. We talk about random things, tell jokes, eat snacks and pee wherever we want. It’s a man’s paradise.

During our first hike we went to a place called “Water Wheel”. It is a mile and a half hike that has a mix of trails, rivers, rocky terrain, and waterfalls. There were some difficult spots and for the most part the boys did an excellent job navigating the terrain. The boys did some slipping and sliding along the way which slowed us down, but we were in no hurry, so I chose to bite my tongue. Sometimes I treat hiking as a workout so I’m not a fan of waiting on people. I talked about this in a past blog, Grace before the race.

We grabbed lunch afterwards at a steak restaurant and proceeded to our next hike out in Tonto National Forest. We took turns as leaders and my younger son Bryce who loves to explore and trail blaze, took us off the beaten path. We found ourselves scaling the side of a mountain which gave us an amazing view of the area, however along the way were a bunch of brier patches.

As you can imagine our legs got cut up pretty good and on our descent the boys started complaining about how they were getting tired. I was starting to get more and more frustrated with them. I was faced with a choice; blow them up or build them up. I chose the latter and we talked about how proud I was of them for hiking for so long (in total we hiked for close to 4 hours) and that I had a blast hanging out with them. It was a wonderful bonding experience.

The power and importance of words

The tongue is a small part of our body, but it wields great power.  In chapter 3 of the book of James, the author compares the tongue to a rudder on a ship, a bit in the mouth of a horse, and a small spark that can start a forest fire. All three examples are very powerful things that are controlled by something small. He also talks about how out of the same mouth should not come praise and cursing just as out of the same spring does not come both fresh water and salt water.

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?”

James 3:9-11 NIV

What drives me crazy, and I am guilty myself, is when someone says, “I didn’t mean it.” I talked about this a month ago in the blog “Being a peacemaker”. You meant it because your brain processed the situation and you said it. You just feel bad for the way it is making the person feel. This is when we must pause and think about the ramifications of what we are about to say.

Spoken words are not the only way to damage someone, especially now with social media. What blows me away is how so many people feel like they need to express their opinion about so many random things out there in the world. And how about texting and emails? Unless you use punctuation or caps, your words can be totally taken out of context. Think about how many relationships and jobs have been ruined by an emotional text in the heat of the moment.

Pumping up someone’s tires

I met Jon Huizinga back in December of 2008. I hired him to coach one of our 12u baseball teams in a winter league that we had just formed. He was a current minor league pitcher and did a great job with the players. We did not interact much in 2008 but coached a lot together from that point on and over the next decade we became good friends. However, that first year we coached together, there were times where I just wanted to punch him in the face.

You see I always took the game of baseball very seriously. It was a passion of mine and I worked very hard at it from the time I was in grade school. This caused me to have a lack of grace on myself and I often had a difficult time with others who took the game for granted and showed a lack of effort. When I started coaching, I used to hold the players to a very high standard and when they didn’t meet my expectations, I usually blew them up. I lacked grace and I didn’t always make it fun. With Jon, everything was fun, and he was always so happy. I thought it was fake at first, so it bugged me, but as I spent more time with him, I realized what a genuine person he was.

Jon is possibly the most positive person I have ever met. He is the kind of guy who gets flipped off by someone on the freeway and he smiles and laughs about it. Nearly every single word out of his mouth is positive and he always talked about “pumping up the player’s tires” by complimenting them. A pitcher could go out and have an awful inning throwing strikes and he would find something good out of it. We would make 3 errors in an inning and he would be there clapping it up and saying to make the next play. It was so much different than what I was used to and so much better than what I normally did.

He literally changed the way I spoke to players and even my family. He made me a better husband and father. Now I do my best to figure out a way to say things in a positive light all the time. I use it in my everyday life, and it has made me a happier person. I hope that I will be the same person to others, that Jon was to me. The funny thing is this- Jon wasn’t trying to affect me. He was just living his life the only way he knew how. As a person who finds the good in everyone.

Here are some points to think about this week:

• The only person that can control what you say is you, so be wise with your words.
• Think before you speak and realize that sometimes saying nothing can be more powerful than always giving your opinion.
• Read the book of James in the bible this week. It’s only 5 chapters so do one per day and I bet it will change your life.
• Keep your expectations for yourself and others high, but practice more grace with everyone, including you.
• And I will leave you with one of Jon’s quotes: “Thanks for breathing”.

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