When I was young, I was scared to go down into our basement at night. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that now, but when you’re five years old that single flight of stairs looked like a path into a dungeon. To top it off we lived out in the country, and there were a lot of wild animals that roamed around. We had a huge lake in our backyard, and in the front of the house there were dense woods across the road. Your mind starts playing tricks on you when you’re halfway down the stairs and you start hearing creepy noises outside.

The thing is our basement wasn’t scary at all when the lights were on. It was fully furnished and it’s where we spent our Sundays watching football and had a lot of our family events like Christmas down there. I actually have a lot of great memories in that room. However, in order for me to turn the lights on, I had to traverse down the steps into darkness. The stairs were lit, but I was walking down into a pitch-black room. The fear came from what could be in that room. It was the unknown.

That’s kind of how fear works. You can make things out to be worse than they really are. You worry about what could happen, which puts you in a defensive state. It can change your decision making and keep you from doing what you love or know what is best. A great acronym I heard for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. There may be nothing actually going wrong, but the more you worry about something, the bigger the situation becomes. It can turn into paralysis by analysis. Here are 3 things to do when you are in a difficult situation and find yourself battling fear.

Put Things Into Perspective

The situation you are in may not be ideal, but it may be similar to something you have experienced in the past. Take a deep breath and think about what is really going on and put things into perspective. In the moment the situation might seem terrible, but if you’ve been here before you probably know how to formulate a plan to eventually rectify it. This doesn’t mean it’s going to be an easy fix. It just means that you know you can do this. 

Success and failure are both great teachers. We can learn from both. I prefer to learn from someone else’s failure and try to avoid what they did, but when I look back on my life, I have learned more from my failures than those of others. A great way of explaining this comes from a line said by Loki when he is rebuking Thanos in the movie Avengers: Infinity War. When Thanos calls out Loki about his failures in the past, Loki simply states, “I consider experience, experience.”

Gather Information

A great saying, I heard years ago is “A short pencil is better than a long memory.” This is typically used to make sure you keep a record of things, so you don’t have to remember them. However, for this blog let’s use this phrase to write down the positive and negative things going on in the midst of a challenge. Sometimes we are going through a situation so we can learn from it. With a positive perspective we can learn from anything and glean important information that will benefit us in the future. Don’t look at a tough situation or a problem from the lens that you are being punished even if it feels like you are. Write down the information you know and from this formulate a plan. 

I love the way that John Maxwell describes the difference between facts and problems in his Leadership Bible. He says that problems are things we can do something about. We can solve problems. Facts are things we can do nothing about; therefore we do well not to worry about them. We apply energy only to those things we can change. We can feel peace and act with poise, because we no longer beat our heads against an unbreakable wall. That is a great word my brothers!!!

Ask Others for Help

In the Bible there is a book in the Old Testament called Proverbs. It is filled with wisdom that all of us can apply to our lives. I have tried to do a lot of things on my own and after doing it my way for years I got exhausted. One principle in the book of Proverbs that really hit me square between the eyes is about seeking wise counsel. This led me to seek out men who I trusted to go to for advice and I created an advisory board for my business. We held similar traits in our faith and morals, but we had different backgrounds and areas of expertise. Wise men surround themselves with people who have the same vision and goal, but they have different giftings.

When you are going through a difficult time reach out to those you trust the most. The best ones are good listeners, and they aren’t “yes men” who just always agree with you. Surround yourself with positive people who will pump up your tires and hold you accountable. Sometimes you need someone to call you out and tell you like it is in a positive way so that you will receive it. 

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.”– Proverbs 15:22, NIV

If you are going through a difficult time right now remember that you are “going through it”. That means you will be better off on the other side. You are not going to be stuck in this situation forever. When you look at mountain ranges notice there are peaks and valleys. Most of the vegetation is in the valleys because when it rains, the water collects down there. Remember that we learn a lot when we are in the valleys of life because it’s a place where we grow. The peaks may feel better, but we sometimes learn more when we are in the valley. Stay positive in your situation today and believe for a better tomorrow!

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