Last night our family lounged in the living room and watched the classic movie “Home Alone”. This was the first time Connor and Bryce had seen it and of course they were laughing hysterically when the two cat burglars were getting their buts kicked left and right by an 8 year old (Kevin) and all of the booby traps he set. These guys got set on fire, they get crushed in the face by full paint cans and let’s face it, seeing someone getting hit in privates by a BB gun is hilarious. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Now my wife and I are just hoping this movie doesn’t give the boys an ideas…
I have not seen this movie since I became a father over 10 years ago. For those Dads out there, you know how your perspective changes when you see movies from being a single guy to a father. Your filter tends to change and now you see messages in a different light. My takeaway in the past was pure laughter and watching two bumbling robbers getting the crap kicked out of them. Last night I was left with a different feel. I saw in through the eyes of a somewhat scared 8 year old’s eyes- I better be careful what I ask for because it might just happen.
If you recall at the start of the movie, Kevin is getting verbally assaulted by his older brothers and sisters. Everyone is getting packed for their Christmas vacation to France and there is chaos everywhere in the house. He ends up shoving his brother into the dinner table, which causes milk to spill everywhere.The entire family is now either yelling or glaring at him. He is then escorted by his Mom upstairs to go to bed without dinner. The scene ends with him lying in bed saying to himself “I hope they all just disappear.”
So, if you have seen the movie you know what happens next. There is a power outage, which causes everyone to sleep in. They rush out of the house to try and get to the airport on time and they forget about Kevin who is alone upstairs. He wakes up and at first seems a little concerned about being alone. After looking around the house and not finding anyone, he thinks that his wish “came true”. He is literally “home alone” and all the hi-jinks follow. Later in the movie he begins to miss them and realizes that being on your own isn’t all that he thought it would be.
That brings us to the whole point of this blog. Have you ever wished for, or really wanted something without thinking about the long-term implications? Ever flown off the handle saying a bunch of stuff that you would later have to apologize for. Made some high-ticket impulse purchases that were not all that wise? How about quitting your job without having another one lined up? Or investing money in something without researching it thoroughly. Making a bad choice with a woman- I mean none of us guys have ever done that…… Any of these things sound familiar?
The hard part is that sometimes these quick decisions can take a lot of time to repair. Trust me, I am preaching to the choir. I have made idiotic decisions of grand proportions that have handcuffed me and my family. What seems like a great idea at the time turns into a situation that can set you back for years. What really stinks is when you do it as a married man and father. When you are single you might just screw yourself. Now you are hosing all the people that God has entrusted to you- his children. That’s a deeper message for a different blog.
Trust in God not man
The year is 2006 and I had just moved back to Arizona to start my baseball company, Cactus Athletic Camps. I had gone through some pretty rough times after my playing career ended in 2000 and never really made much money. All too often I would work multiple jobs to just make ends meet. I had a friend in the real estate business who was pretty young, but seemed to have all the answers. He told me that with my credit score we could make a lot of money together. I just needed to focus on coaching baseball and he would take care of the real estate.I didn’t know anything about the housing market, but heck why not. I have always been struggling financially. I deserve this.
For my first purchase, I bought a big 5-bedroom house that I could not afford in Scottsdale and enlisted 4 friends to rent rooms from me. Back then people were buying houses left and right with just good credit scores and income projection. I told my real estate friend what I thought I would be making and what do you know I was approved for $750,000! I took his advice, pulled money out of the house right away to pay for the mortgage, and planned on flipping it down the road. I also took some of that money and invested in some other houses.What could go wrong???
Well 2007 came along which was followed by 2008 and the housing market crashed. At this point I was now married to Taleen and with Connor on the way. We owned 4 houses and lost all of them. My net worth which was in the millions was now relatively zero. We went from renting three of our houses into renting one from someone else. So, in August of 2008 we moved into a rental home, just one month before Connor was born. Oh boy do I feel like a total loser.
Wisdom from a friend
Fast forward to the year 2011. We are plugging along and trying to get our lives back on track financially. I was having a conversation with one of my best friends, Kory DeHaan, who went through some tough financial times with his family. I lean on him a lot for perspective and wisdom. I told him I felt like a complete failure and that I couldn’t even afford to buy a house for my family. He told me something that really changed my life. He said “Billy, we’re all just renting anyway. None of this stuff is going with us.”
That is exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to stop worrying about earthly things and focus on those that are eternal. It says in Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I needed to get the focus off me and think about how I can bless others with my talents and my testimony.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21 NIV
It took seven years, but finally in August 2015 we bought a house. It was only 3 miles away from our rental and in an area that we liked a lot. It has a big grass yard with a pool, and great neighbors. The boys are outside playing constantly and Rusty has a big area to romp around. We no longer live in debt and the only one we have is our mortgage. Side note- Thank you, Dave Ramsey. He is a financial genius and his course Financial Peace University changed our lives dramatically. I encourage you to check it out.
So, I have some advice for you to consider before you dive in to a major decision.
- Gather wisdom– Talk to people who have experience in the area you are focusing on. Ask them questions and also have them give their opinion on what they would do if they were in your shoes.
- Do research– Delve deeply into the situation.Think about the long-term implications. By the way this is not just for financial decisions. This is relationship related as well. You will find out how selfish you are the moment you become a husband and father.
- Pray– Spend time with God. Read the bible. Get on your needs and ask him for wisdom. Read the book of Proverbs and really spend time thinking about the words and the lessons it offers.
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