My baseball life has come full circle in a number of ways in my life. As a professional coach I am now managing games against men who used to coach me. I am also starting to see players that I coached start to get jobs as professional coaches. As a youth coach I have gone from T-ball head coach to helping with my boy’s middle school and high school teams. People told me that time goes by fast, and boy were they right.

I wanted to coach my boys when they first started out to make sure they would have a good experience. There are some crazy youth coaches out there sitting in dugouts who have zero perspective when it comes to the point of youth athletics. Then I started to sit with my wife in the stands and realized how many crazy parents are sitting there! Sometimes I’m like “Seriously bro, calm down. These kids are seven.”

I have been told that all sarcasm has a little truth to it and in this case, it has a lot. Try and avoid coaching from the sidelines and just enjoy watching the game. Here are three pointers to think about when you attend your kid’s next game.

1. Let the Coach Do Their Job

Most youth coaches are volunteers and are doing it to be around their kid who is on the team. Some older coaches already coached their kids, who are now adults, and they just enjoy being out there helping the kids in the community. The ones at the club and high school level are most likely getting paid, but it’s probably not their main source of income. They are doing it because they love the game and have a general knowledge of it.

I realize that you know your kid better than his or her coach does, but the coach is spending a lot of time with them during that season out on the practice field. They have a good understanding of their talent and should be trying to put them in a position to succeed during games. Cheer for your kid from the stands, but don’t coach them. On the car ride over to the game give them reminders if you’ve been working on something and stop there. Let the coach do the coaching once the game starts.   

2. Be Positive, but No False Praise

Parents don’t like to see their kids fail, and sometimes our mommy and daddy goggles blur us from reality. The fact is playing sports is hard and we want to encourage our kids. However, allowing them to hold themselves to a high standard is a good thing. Telling Danny good job after taking 3 pitches down the middle and leaving the bat on his shoulder is just dumb. Be positive, but not to the point where you sound ridiculous. 

Danny knows it was a terrible at bat and he’s not happy about it. Telling him good job doesn’t make him feel better. We need to remember that sometimes saying nothing is ok. It’s better than saying something negative like “Hey Danny, use the metal thing in your hands!” That’s awful, but false praise for a lack of effort is also not the way to go. You don’t have to comment on everything your kid does. Pick your moments and just enjoy watching them compete.

3. Focus on their Effort

Instead of always praising our kids for a result on the field like a base hit, we should praise them for their effort. John Wooden said that if you prepared for a game mentally and physically the best that you could and gave your best effort, that you were a winner regardless of the outcome. By the way he won 10 NCAA National Championships at UCLA, so he does know a thing or two about winning yet he never talked about winning. I have adopted this mindset more into my coaching at the pro level, and my interactions with players have been the best ever in my coaching career. Preparation and effort require zero talent.

The biggest thing we need to remember as parents is that competing in sports is hard and for many of us it’s been a long time since we did it. There is a lot of pressure kids put on themselves already and all they want from you is your presence and encouragement. Go to as many games as you can. They look at you in the stands for a reason. They want to know that you are proud of them. Youth sports is not about building professional athletes. It’s about giving our kids an opportunity to challenge themselves and have fun with their friends. Enjoy being a mom and dad. It goes by quick… 

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